Slide to the bottom

The Brexit cheerleaders promised us we would keep the EU as a trading partner and gain a global marketplace. They are now loudly shouting for no-deal - "Who needs stuffy old Europe when we can trade with the world?!"

So we won't keep our lucrative tariff-free trade with the EU, trade that makes up 52% of our (non-gold) exports.

We were told that it would be simple to roll-over trade deals done under the EU umbrella. Now we are told it won't necessarily be simple, but it is possible. Probably.

At least we will be freed of those pesky EU rules that prevented us striking our own deals - sovereignty over trade deals is definitely a Brexit win.

So it is. We can offer deals to anyone we want. Of course, we must offer something worth having. Currently we are offering a deal to the Saudis - if they float Saudi Aramco (the world's largest company offering the world's largest float) in London then we will change the rules so it is classified as 'premium' not 'standard'.

Simple indeed - relax the rules to win big. New York is the world's biggest securities centre but it won't get the Saudi's business as New York is too fond of its reputation for high standards. Of course the reason that it is the world's biggest securities centre is its reputation for high standards.

A trade deal with America? No problem, as long as we relax food safety standards.

A trade deal with Japan? No problem, as long as we ...

The Brexiteers' aim of a low regulation, low (corporate) tax Britain spooks the EU. They don't want Singapore-Upon-Thames as their nearest neighbour, a European sweatshop with a relatively educated workforce and comparatively low corruption index. If we head that way then they will put up hefty trade barriers to keep us from out-competing them.

What no-one has acknowledged is that if the EU can't keep us tied into the single market then we will deregulate. We will have to light that red-tape bonfire so beloved of Brexiteers or become a closed, low-export economy. Though it won't be a bonfire, it will be a slow smoulder: a rule here, a regulation there. Standards relaxed, health risks downplayed.

Not a race so much as a slide to the bottom.